


Let Me Capture All Your Shades of Lovely

by sessie_can_i



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-20
Updated: 2013-03-20
Packaged: 2017-12-05 21:59:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/728354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sessie_can_i/pseuds/sessie_can_i
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis were highschool sweethearts, but not boyfriends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Capture All Your Shades of Lovely

**Author's Note:**

> This took me way to long to complete omg but I hope you enjoy some photographer!harry and famous!louis and a shit ton of angst in between :) 
> 
> This mentions a past relationship between Harry Styles and Zayn Malik... but its only teeny, I promise ;) 
> 
> Oh, and I simply cannot post this without thanking the lovely Elissa... if it wasnt for you, this story would never have gotten completed. Thanks for constantly motivating me to write :D

Louis and Harry were highschool sweethearts, but not boyfriends.

Harry fiddled with a camera. Louis liked to sing and act and pretend it was easy to become a star.

That’s how Harry and Louis met. The school play that year was Grease and Louis managed to land the lead role of Danny. Harry volunteered to take the casts’ portraits and character photos. In some ways, Harry thinks of this deal as his first “shoot.”

In some ways, Harry thinks of this shoot as the first time he fell in love.

He fell in love with a lot of things that day. One of them was photography itself. Some trivial things like the sound of the shutter going off and the pull of the camera strap around his neck when he let the camera hang loose and the fact that the pictures he was taking looked quite good for a first-timer. The other thing he fell in love with was Louis.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Harry did. And Louis did, too, but he’d never be able to admit that.  

When it was Louis’ turn for portraits, Harry froze. It was the first time he actually had a good look at the lead boy, and fuck, was he beautiful. As green eyes met with Louis’ blue, he felt something he’d never felt before. He knows what its like having a crush. He knows what its like to be attracted to a girl. He even knew what it was like being attracted to boys, even though he never really acknowledged that feeling. But this, wow, this was something so different.

It was like he was falling and being caught and breaking apart and put together and laughing and crying and hating and loving and screaming at the top of his lungs until it turned to something more beautiful like singing or laughter at the same time and it was all because of the boy standing in front of him. One that was looking at him funny because Harry was staring at him like an idiot and there may have been a little drool but he would never admit that.

So he jumped right to business muttering awkward things like “alright then… yeah just like stand… um.. th-there and tilt your head like… yeah like that, wow,”  all the way through his personal shoot. Harry loved the way Louis managed to look up through his fringe and smolder the camera with his eyes and Harry needs to get some copies of these pictures because, well, they’re beautiful. Everything about Louis was beautiful.

When Louis’ fringe fell a little too far down his face and was practically covering his eyes, the younger boy’s body acted before his mind could register what he was doing. He looked up from the camera and reached, letting his fingertips graze the feathered hair gently, moving it out of his eyes. Louis blinked in surprise. Harry’s mind caught up with his body and he pulled his hand away, blushing like someone had just rubbed red paint on his cheeks. And it surprised him when Louis smiled.

Both boys were smart enough to not comment on it. Harry kept taking his pictures. Louis kept staring at the camera like he was purposely trying to make Harry squirm. Which he was, but Louis would never be caught dead saying it out loud.  

Soon, Harry ran out of angles and ideas and inspiration to use on Louis so he reluctantly told him he could go. And it shocked him when the older boy was hesitating.

“Here’s my number,” Louis said, taking Harry’s hand and jotting down a number in black ink on his hand. Harry’s heart might have stopped beating for a few seconds. God, who knows what he looked like in that moment. Looking back on it, it was probably embarrassing. But looking back on it, Harry doesn’t really care what he looked like because Louis looked perfect. “You seem like a cool guy. We should hang out sometime,” Louis chirped and bounced out of the room, leaving an open-mouthed Harry behind him.

And somehow their friendship began.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

            Months later, Harry would laugh with Louis about how it took Harry a solid week to work up the nerve to actually call Louis. And how nervous Harry was the first time they hung out. And how absolutely lovely Louis was to Harry even though he was timid around the older boy. Louis didn’t see what was making Harry so nervous. This shocked Harry, it really did, because it felt like his love for Louis could be seen and touched and held like a tangible thing.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

It’s been 5 months since Harry first took Louis’ picture. In that time, the two boys had grown incredibly close. They knew each other inside and out. They knew each other’s deepest secrets, save one of course.

And Harry was done. He was done with the lying and the pretending and acting like someone he definitely was not. So today was the day he was going to tell Louis. Not that he was in love with him, but he was going to tell him that he was gay. At this point, it was pretty obvious, but Harry wanted to say it out loud to the one person that mattered most in his world.

They were lounging around on Harry’s couch watching some bad chick flick or something Harry wasn’t paying attention to. He was lying on top of Louis on the sofa because that was something normal that they were used to and did all the time and it was totally platonic, right? At least Louis doesn’t notice Harry’s constant effort to keep an erection from springing up in that position. Or maybe he did. He doesn’t comment on it, nor does he comment when Harry loses control a couple times and can’t help it.

“I get it,” Louis whispers one time when it happens. Harry never responds and Louis never explains himself and they both leave it at that; Louis never comments on it again.

He does, however, notice Harry having a hard time breathing right now. He knows Harry has something to say and he’s not pushing him to talk either. He just rubs a comforting hand on his back and shoulder until Harry manages to choke out the words.

“I’m gay,” he stammers and holds his breath. He has no clue how Louis would respond to that, but the way he does respond shocks him.

“I know,” Louis says simply. He doesn’t shift their position or stop rubbing Harry’s back or even blink. And that’s okay. Harry can accept that. But there’s one question that he’s burning to ask. Louis senses this and tells him before he needs to embarrass himself by asking. “I’m not _gay_ , exactly. I like who I like.  I don’t like to label things,” he trailed off, smiling.

Harry wanted to shut up and pretend to watch the movie, but his mouth had seemingly detached from his mind and kept on running. “H-how did you… know?” Louis didn’t answer. “Louis, don’t make me say it again. You know I don’t want to repeat it.”

The only reply Harry got was a wink and a smirk and that was okay because an acceptable answer from Louis could’ve been an Indian tribal dance and that would be alright because Harry loved him more than anything.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Weeks bled into months and before either of them knew it, it was summer vacation already. Which is basically synonymous to going to parties and getting wasted every night.

That’s exactly what they did the first night of summer. And every night of that week. They were at a party Friday night when it happened.

Louis was dancing with someone else in the mix of sweaty bodies and alcohol and drugs and Harry had already drank enough to blur his vision and turn him into an incomprehensible mess.

He might have hooked up with about 4 guys that night. He may have even kissed a girl or two, but if he did Harry didn’t remember or want to remember. All Harry recalls from that night was the dizzying jealousy for every girl or guy Louis danced with or snogged or even led out of the main room for 15 minutes and sent him back looking flushed and brighter and clearly fucked-out. That’s what set Harry off.

He marched over to Louis and the person he was dancing with at the time and grabbed Louis from the girls vice grip on him. Louis, being much more sober than Harry, asked what he was doing.

“It’s my turn,” he slurred with a smile. “You’re dancing with me whether you like it or not and you better like it because I like you and I think you should like me too.” Louis was too drunk to comprehend his words so they danced and got way too intimate but neither boy cared or noticed.

They were about to leave the party when Harry bent down and kissed Louis’ neck.

Like everything Harry’s done to Louis, he didn’t comment on it.

And Harry was too drunk to care that Louis didn’t talk much when they stumbled home.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Harry considered himself a photographer. He loved it more than anything, save Louis, of course. Most of his pictures were of Louis so it really worked out for him then. But he took pictures of everything and anything everywhere he went. Louis often teased him about how Harry could always be seen with a camera slung around his neck, but then Harry told him he wanted to do it for real. Like go to uni for it and everything.

“That’s so great, Harry,” he’d say. “I’m glad you have something you love as much as I love performing. And you know I want to go to uni for that. Hey, maybe we’ll go to the same artsy school!” Harry was thrilled that Louis was so supportive of his choice.

He wanted to start getting a little credibility as a photographer, so he put together a portfolio and went to all the local galleries in their small town, trying to get a picture in a show. It took a month or two, but eventually he found a gallery that accepted one of his pictures.

Louis was ecstatic. Harry was shocked that anyone would want to see his amateur work.

Naturally, Louis came with Harry and his family to the gallery on opening night. They looked at all the pictures by other photographers together until they came across Harry’s picture.  Everyone in their little group held their breath as they looked over the picture. Louis was having trouble breathing because it was the first time he was seeing this picture and it was probably the most captivating thing he’s ever seen.

Harry picked his favorite picture to be shown at the gallery, trying to make a good impression so maybe other galleries would want his work too.

The picture was taken when Harry and Louis took a trip to the beach for a day during the summer. It was the perfect mixture of sunset and sand dunes and Louis in the corner. Of course Louis was in it; Louis was in most of Harry’s pictures. And he looked absolutely gorgeous and the sun cast amazing shadows on his face and the sand and water looked like it was glittering and how did Harry capture this?

Harry couldn’t take his eyes off Louis’ face. Louis couldn’t take his eyes off the beautiful picture in front of him. Wordlessly, before he could comprehend what he was doing, he reached over and grabbed Harry’s hand. He let his eyes stray from Louis face to their entwined hands and his breath caught.

“Erm, well… me and Gemma are going to look at some other pictures, yeah?” Anne said quickly and ushered a gawking Gemma to the other side of the gallery, leaving the boys alone.

They stood there for a couple minutes, holding hands and listening to people rave over Harry’s picture. It really was a hit; everyone seemed to gravitate towards it.

Louis didn’t know what he was doing. He knew he was impulsive and followed his gut before he really thought about what he was doing but at that moment when Harry was staring at him with such affection and this beautiful picture was right in front of them, he couldn’t help himself.

He turned quickly and Harry took a step back, startled by the sudden movement. But Louis followed his movement and stood on his toes wrapped an arm around the back of his neck.

Harry wasn’t breathing. He didn’t know what was happening. But then Louis’ lips were on his and the world suddenly made sense and didn’t at the same time.

They kissed slowly; Harry timidly put his hands on Louis’ waist, not wanting to freak Louis out by jumping on him and throwing himself into the kiss with too much enthusiasm.

Louis was okay with that. Honestly, Louis didn’t know what he was doing right now, kissing his best friend. All he knew was that Harry was amazing and he deserved to know that he was amazing and this seemed like the best way to show him that. Even if they were only friends.

When they broke apart, Harry couldn’t help the smile that spread wide across his face. Louis smiled too, but didn’t notice. He was too busy figuring out why he just kissed his best friend.

“That was… unexpected,” Harry whispered, taking his hands off Louis’ waist and standing there awkwardly. To make the situation less awkward, Louis threw a casual arm around the older boys shoulder.

“The picture is beautiful. You’re going to make it big someday,” he replied.

Louis had no idea.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

A few more months passed and Louis didn’t try kissing Harry again. It was disappointing, but honestly Harry wasn’t expecting anything.

At this point in the school year, midterms were upon them. A natural worrier, Harry was stressed over them. Louis could see this in the way his shoulders were tensed and he couldn’t stop tapping his pencil and his brow was furrowed when they were studying in Harry’s room and suddenly Louis couldn’t take it anymore.

He walked over to the stressed younger boy and pulled the tapping pencil out of his hand and started pushing him towards his bed.

“What are yo-“

“You’re stressed. I’m helping you calm down.” Harry was about to protest until Louis started fumbling with his belt buckle and every thought in his head suddenly vanished.

And when Louis’ eyelashes fluttered against Harry’s stomach as he deep throated him, he couldn’t have told you his name if he tried.

The next minutes were filled with pants and a constant effort to keep his voice down so his mum wouldn’t come in and check to see what all the noise was about. He allowed himself to moan Louis’ name as he came though and fuck it if his mum came in to see him so happy getting sucked off by his best friend.

When Harry came down from his orgasm and Louis was done zipping Harry’s pants up, he pulled himself up on top of the younger boy and kissed him lightly. “Can you relax for me?” Harry barely managed a nod.

Louis smirked as he got off the bed and made his way over to the desk they were studying at. “Wait, do you want me to… you know…” Harry stuttered. Louis thought for a second before shaking his head no.

“That was a favor. Don’t worry about returning it.” But Harry pestered him until he allowed the curly haired boy to give him at least a hand job.  

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

It continued like that for a while. Harry and Louis exchanging hand jobs and blowjobs and the occasional rimming whenever they needed it. They never talked about feelings or labeled anything and Harry wondered how Louis still didn’t see that he was so incredibly in love with him.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Louis’ prom night was the first time they had sex.

Harry wasn’t old enough to go, so he just took pictures for him and the pretty girl he was taking. Her name might have been Hanna but Harry was too jealous to do anything other than say hello.

It was bearable, taking Louis’ fake loved-up pictures, though Harry almost lost his head when Louis wrapped his arms around Hanna’s waist from behind. But overall it wasn’t too bad.

So Louis left for the dance with his date and Harry was left alone to mope and cry and laugh at what his life had become.

At around one in the morning, Harry heard a knock on his front door. Honestly, it didn’t shock him that Louis was standing on his doorstep at this hour. Sometimes when they feel especially sexually frustrated, they’d just show up at the other boys’ house. Louis’ done it so many times that Harry doesn’t ask any questions as he lets him in and leads him upstairs. Louis isn’t the only guilty one here; Harry does it all the time too.  

Louis starts kissing him the second the door closes behind them. And Harry doesn’t protest when he starts pushing the younger boy onto his bed and climbs on top of him.

This probably wasn’t the best time for conversation, but Louis felt tense on top of Harry, kissing him with too much force, too much emotion behind it. It took all his strength to pull away.

“Are you okay?” he asked timidly, afraid at what the answer may be. Louis pondered the question for a while before answering.

“No. But I will be. Hey, I got you a present.” With that, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small pack of condoms. Harry felt himself suck in a surprised breath.

“You mean you want to…” Louis managed a tight nod. Harry let out his breath and started nodding frantically. “Yeah, yeah I want that too. I want tha-“ He was cut off by a pair of lips crashing down on his again.

I’m sure you can figure out what happened from there.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Harry would like to believe that they were quiet that night. He’d like to believe that his mum didn’t hear. He’d like to believe that the moment Louis entered him wasn’t one of the top ten best moments of his life.

But he’d be lying to himself if he did.  

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Time passed like that. Louis and Harry had amazing sex when they needed it. Louis and Harry stayed best friends, nothing more. Louis never wanted to talk about feelings and Harry didn’t want to push him. And as much as it hurt him, he’d rather have this part of Louis than no part of Louis at all.

Before they knew it, it was time for Louis to apply for uni. Harry acted as if this fact didn’t kill him when he poured over applications and helped Louis prepare audition pieces.

Louis slipped an application to NYU’s Tich School of the Arts without telling anyone but his mum. Honestly, he wasn’t expecting to get in. Not at all.

If only he knew.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Against all odds, Louis got accepted. He couldn’t believe it when the acceptance letter came. It was like the doors to his dream future were opening.

Of course the first thing he did was run to Harry’s house. Too impatient for the doorbell, he ran straight in, knowing the door would be unlocked.

“Harry!” he yelled as he busted into the younger boys room. He was peacefully sleeping when Louis barged in. That would not do.

He began shaking the curly haired boy until he started into awareness. “Harry, Harry, Harry, wake up!”

Harry groaned. “Lou? Wha-what time is it?” He yawned and rolled over, snuggling into the blanket.

Louis ripped the blanket off the curly haired boy and laughed when he yelped when the cold air hit his skin. “What was that for?!” Harry was definitely awake now.

“I have big news!” Harry automatically sat up. “I didn’t tell you I was applying because I didn’t think I’d get in, but you’ll never guess what school I got accepted to.”

Harry just blinked. He’d applied to every major performing arts uni in England together. Which school could he have applied to and Harry didn’t know about it? “I don’t know…”

“America, Harry, I’m going to America! I got accepted into NYU! Can you believe it? Me, Louis Tomlinson is going to New York City. This school has the _best_ performing arts program…” Louis continued to babble about how amazing NYU is, but Harry wasn’t listening. His mind was focused on _school in America school in America school in America America America America…_

“You can’t go to America!” Harry burst out, interrupting Louis’ talk about how wonderful New York City is.

“What?” Louis asked, taken aback by Harry’s outburst. “I thought… I thought you’d be happy for me?”

“I’m… I’m happy for you… but… America?! Why America!” Harry realized he was shouting and took a calming breath to steady himself. “You’ll be an ocean away, Lou,” he whispered. Harry thought he’d be going as far as London. A mere train ride away. A train ride he can do. A full 8-hour flight? That’s not possible.  

“This is my life, Harry! I’ll miss you like crazy, but I need to live my life. I need to live my dreams! This is my dream, Harry. Why can’t you understand that?”

Harry’s sure he could have come up with a better response than the one he blurted out. Maybe if he could’ve controlled his mouth, things would have ended differently. Maybe he could have said something like, _“You know what? That’s incredible, Lou. Go to America, live your dreams. I’ll be your #1 fan when you’re famous!”_ But what actually came out was, “I love you, that’s why.”

Louis froze on the bed. Harry wanted to laugh it off and add a quick, “ _Like a friend!”_ but he didn’t. He just stared and stared at the frozen, blue-eyed boy sitting on his bed. After a while, he spoke again.

“I love you, Louis. I always have. I-I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t completely in love with you. Ever since… ever since the day I saw you I wanted to be with you.” Louis said nothing. “Please don’t leave me,” Harry whispered, grabbing Louis’ hand when he started to get off the bed. “Please, Louis, don’t leave.” Louis started shaking his head slowly as he pulled his hand out of Harry’s.

“That’s… that’s not what I want, Harry. That’s– fuck I don’t know, Harry, I-I have to go.”

Louis ran out of the house then, ignoring Harry’s choked sobs and calls after him.

He couldn’t help his own tears from falling as he crossed the threshold. He knew it would be the last time he’d cross that door. But the worst part is, he didn’t know why he cared so much.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Louis ignored Harry’s texts and calls and basically ignored _him_ for the rest of the year at school. He hooked up with as many girls as possible, hoping to forget how good it felt to have a stronger pair of arms and hands to grab him. But no matter how many girls he fucked, he couldn’t get one question out of his mind: _Why did I run out?_

Then suddenly, the big day was here and Louis was shipping off to America to begin the life he always dreamed of.

He never even told Harry that he left.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

It was harder than it looked, the whole _move to America and BOOM, instant stardom_ thing.

Between running to classes and trying to make friends and getting used to the whole idea of America and balancing auditions along with all that.

It took months and months but finally Louis landed a minor role in an upcoming Broadway show. He didn’t realize how major this was. He didn’t understand that it took people years to make it into the chorus, and he landed an actual role after just a few months.

This started everything for him.

Backstage after a show, a cute chorus girl named Eleanor came up to him and told him there was someone at the door calling for him. This was strange. No one even knew Louis in New York; why would someone be asking for him?

A representative from a major recording studio. That’s who was at the door.

“We really like what you can do. And a pretty face never hurt anyone. Give us a call, you could be a big star someday.” With that, the agent handed him a card and left, leaving a dazed Louis behind him.

This was it. _This is what he was waiting for._

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Louis fell in love with Eleanor. Or at least he thought he did. He really thought he did.

His love for her paled in comparison to his ghost feelings for Harry, but Louis took it. He accepted it. He hasn’t seen Harry in years. He’ll probably never see him again.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Time passed. Sometimes it passed quick and rough like a raging bull, other times it passed slow, like the beating of his heart whenever he thought of what he had done to Harry.

But it did pass, and Louis guesses that’s the only thing that matters.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

6 years. 6 years have passed and Louis has no clue how Harry is or what Harry is or if he’s living out his photography dreams like he used to babble about when they were just kids fooling around.

It’s unbelievable how much can change in the matter of a few lousy years. Louis moved from musical theater to the music industry. And, wow, did he take over the music industry.

He ruled pop culture. He _was_ pop culture.

Boys wanted to be him. Every girl around the world wanted to fuck him. And with 2 sold out world tours, 3 Platinum albums and an impressive amount of awards, one could easily say Louis was the prime example of that _don’t give up on your dreams_ shit society tries to feed you.

All of this happened with Eleanor by his side. Both being from England, the two instantly bonded.

And they both agreed to get married in England when Louis finally proposed to her last year.   

“I’m too busy to plan anything, El,” Louis had said when they were discussing trivial things like the color of his suit or the photographer. “Can you take over? I know how amazing you are at planning.” This made her face light up and Louis suddenly remembered why he fell for her in the first place.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Weeks somehow turned into months and then half a year passed and it was nearly time to start preparing for the wedding.

Louis posed for photographs with Eleanor at the airport and Eleanor screamed a happy “We’re getting married!” to the crying fans. They quickly boarded the plane and Louis tried to fall asleep but for some reason he couldn’t keep a green-eyed, curly haired boy out of his dreams.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“Who is this guy anyway?” Louis asked as he and Eleanor stepped into the sleek, black car that was to bring them to their photography session.

Eleanor rolled her eyes. “How could you not have heard of him, Lou?!” Louis blinked at her. “He’s a celebrity photographer. Cute little chap. He shoots for high end companies like Burberry and does model shoots. Oh! He also shoots album covers. I think your management wanted him for your newest shoot but he turned them down. I wonder why…”

Louis shrugged. He didn’t really care if some stuck up photographer had a problem with him. _He_ was the one with millions of fans around the world. _He_ was the adored one.

“Oh, Lou. Be please nice,” Eleanor whispered as the car pulled into the parking lot and they made their way out and towards the pretty building.

 _Wow,_ was Louis’ first thought as he stepped foot in the studio. Every wall, practically every spare space in the place was covered with pictures. Some blown up big. Some incredibly tiny. Pictures of different places and people and times and emotions.

A bell rung as the door swung back in place and a blonde-haired bloke popped his head up from under the counter.

“Oh! Hi! I’m Niall,” he said brightly, making his way over to the couple. “You must be Louis Tomlinson and his lovely fiancé Eleanor?” Eleanor nodded brightly, while Louis felt queasy. These pictures felt familiar. Their style felt familiar.

“Listen,” Niall said quietly, glancing over his shoulder. “I’m surprising Harry, here.”   _Harry?_ It can’t be… there’s no way. None whatsoever. “He’s secretly a really big fan of yours –“ a pointed look at Louis “– even though he denies it. And he’s been in a foul mood recently because of… reasons.” He hesitated on the word _reasons._ “I thought I’d cheer him up by giving him a chance to shoot your wedding.”

Eleanor gasped. “You mean he doesn’t know he’s even shooting this?”

Niall shrugged. “He knows he’s shooting _a_ wedding. He just doesn’t know who’s yet.” There was some shuffling around upstairs, followed by a thump and someone swearing. “But I guess he’s about to find out. Follow me.” He led the couple up the photo-covered staircase.

“Did Harry take all these?” A curious Eleanor asked. Niall nodded. “Photography is his whole life. But it took him a while to get here. These are all his amateur pictures. These keep him humble.”

“Are you talking about me, Niall?” a voice asked from upstairs. A familiar voice. This can’t be. No. _No._ This can’t fall apart now.

“Only because I love you,” Niall called out, giggling. “You’ll forgive me when you see who’s wedding I booked you.”

Harry laughed. The sound made Louis ache. He thought he was going to throw up. They stepped through the threshold right as Harry spun around with a smirk, saying, “Surprise me.”

Wow, was he surprised.

Louis stopped walking. Harry stopped breathing. The papers he was holding fell to the floor but he couldn’t muster up enough willpower to bend over and pick them up. All he could focus on was the blue eyes staring back at him. The same blue eyes that broke his heart so many years ago.

The smirk frozen on Harry’s face instantly changes into a scowl and he sent a death look to the giggling Irishman. “What did you do, Niall?” Louis was still frozen.

Niall let out a booming laugh as he made his way over to clean up Harry’s mess. “I mean, I know you’re a fan of his. I hear you singing to his CD when you’re here late at night.”

Now Harry was blushing and scowling at the same time.

Louis, on the other hand, was having a mental meltdown.

He couldn’t be doing this. It took him so long to convince himself he wasn’t in love with Harry. It took so many sleepless nights and meaningless shags to convince himself that he was right walking out on him that morning.

But with the same piercing green eyes staring at him right now, all his resolve melted. His knees wobbled and for a second he thought he was going to collapse or something like that. Eleanor noticed.

“Are you alright, love?” she asked, taking his hand. Harry pretended to not be burning with jealousy. He pretended all his past feelings for Louis didn’t just reappear in the blink of an eye.

Louis thinks he choked out a strained “Yes” but he’s not sure. Eleanor looked pleased, though and Harry looked like he kind of pulled himself together so Louis guesses it’s alright.

“Right, um,” Harry stuttered before he cleared his throat and stood up a little straighter. He always had a tendency to slouch and Louis didn’t know why he remembered that. “Your wedding. It’s supposed to be ‘magical’,” the sarcasm was prominent when his voice curled around the word ‘magical’. Eleanor nodded enthusiastically, not catching on to the sarcasm. Harry rolled his eyes. “Unfortunately for you,” Harry began again, “I don’t believe in magic.” Eleanor’s face fell. “You hired _me_ to shoot this wedding. _I’m_ the expert here on settings and angles and everything like that. You may not like my ideas, hell you probably won’t like me very much by the end of this shoot, but let me tell you,” Harry turned around and started walking towards his wall of camera’s and equipment. He beckoned the small group to follow him. He smirked just a bit to himself. “You’ll thank me later.”

He switched on these blinding lights, illuminating the dim room instantly. Louis watched as Harry took a step back and examined the couple in front of him. Eleanor turned and nuzzled into Louis’ side. Louis tried to forget about the time that it was Harry he was snuggling up to.

Louis examined Harry as Harry examined Louis. Wow, did Harry really grow into himself. His curls were even silkier and sexier than before. He must’ve hit his growth spurt while Louis was gone because he towered over Louis. No longer a lanky teenager, Harry was still skinny but much more muscled and Louis could see the lines of muscle popping out from the forearms that his rolled-up blazer exposed. He could see tattoos peeking out of the top of his low-cut shirt that dropped to reveal his prominent collarbones. There were also tattoos on his the side of his wrist, sitting near his expensive-looking watch. His blazer exposed half of a quote. Louis squinted his eyes, trying to make it out.

“Stop squinting,” the photographer whispered, eyes fixed on Louis. Louis opened his mouth to reply, but Eleanor beat him to it.

“What does that tattoo say?” she asked sweetly, obviously trying to make a good impression.

Harry’s eyes dropped to his sleeve, looking at the tattoo peeking out. He sighed before answering. “That one says ‘Things I can’t’. The other arm says ‘Things I can’. I… have a lot of tattoos.” Louis didn’t know how to feel about that. The Harry he knew all those years ago would never have even fathomed the idea of inking his skin that way.  

Harry took a step forward, looking at the couple. He reached a hand out, and hovered it near Eleanor’s face. “May I?” he asked. Eleanor looked worried but she nodded all the same.

Harry reached forward and put two fingers underneath her chin, tilting her head up and twisting it gently this way and that. Harry made a sound under his breath; it almost sounded like a sigh. He didn’t let go of her chin.

“Do you model?” Harry asked abruptly. The girls face lit up, clearly taking it as a compliment.

“No,” she said sweetly. “I mean, I’d love to but –“

“Don’t,” Harry said and turned around. If he had looked back that moment, he would have seen her face twist with offense. He would had seen her look up to her fiancé expectantly, waiting for him to jump to her defense.

He would have seen said fiancé shrug and look away.

“Go over to makeup, right there,” Harry pointed to a door in the corner. “We’re doing a warm-up shoot today so I can figure out the best setting for your pictures.” He shooed the couple off, making his way to the other side of the room as he did so.

Eleanor took Louis’ hand as they wandered over, curiously glancing at the walls as they went. In sharp contrast to the bottom floor, this floor’s wall was stark white.

As they turned into the room, they were confronted with another man. He glanced up as the couple entered the room and his featured melted into a smile. With light brown hair and pretty brown eyes, Louis found it impossible to not smile back despite his terrible mood.  Beside him, Niall sat on a table littered with cosmetics and hair products, swinging his legs back and forth.

“Hello! I’m Liam, it’s nice to meet you,” the man said, extending his hand to Louis. He shook it gingerly then crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ll be your makeup artist for the rest of this shoot. Don’t mind Niall. He likes to come annoy me whenever he can,” he shot a mock glare at the blonde-haired boy who giggled in response.

“Right, so I guess the lovely lady will go first?” Liam asked, looking at Louis. He just shrugged as he took a seat on a couch lining the opposite wall.

“I’m going to help Harry out,” Niall said suddenly, hoping off the table and walking towards the open door. Liam scoffed.

“More like nag him until you get an early break. I know your ways, blondie, I know he can’t resist you,” Liam smirked.

 Niall winked at the soft boy. “You know my ways.” And with that, he was gone.

Liam laughed to himself as he turned to Eleanor and began working.

Good thing, too, because Louis wouldn’t have been able to describe the annoyed set of his mouth if anyone asked.

Eleanor hesitantly cleared her throat. “So, are… um, Niall and Mr. Styles dating?” Louis almost choked on his own spit.

Too his ultimate relief, Liam burst out laughing. “Good one,” he managed to get out in between giggles. “Niall and Harry are just really good mates. Best friends, actually… I think since uni or something.” Louis hoped no one heard his quiet sigh of relief.

But the worst part is, he didn’t know why he was relieved.

It wasn’t long before Niall was storming back into the room, muttering profanities under his breath. Liam looked over to the boy and laughed.

“No luck?” the makeup artist asked with a smirk playing on his lips.

“I don’t get it!” Niall hissed, slamming the door behind him, making Louis jump. “Why is he acting so awfully to me?”

Liam gave him an exasperated look. “Do you really not see it, Niall? Are you that oblivious? You’re the one who forced a wedding shoot on him. So soon after… he left.”

Louis world seemed to stop spinning for a second. _He left he left he left he left._ There was a _he_ and it wasn’t Louis and he was trying to act like that wasn’t bothering him but really it was tearing him apart inside.

Louis willed Eleanor to drop the subject, but of course, he had no such luck.

“He? Who, exactly, may I ask?”

Liam hesitated, but continued on nonetheless. “Zayn… Zayn Malik.” Eleanor’s eyes widened in recognition. Louis hoped the thudding of his heart and the flush on his cheeks weren’t the most prominent thing in the room. “You know him, yeah? Thought so. Burberry model and all that. Harry and he met in uni… It was Harry’s pictures that got him famous in the first place,” he spit with a scowl on his face. “He was cheating on him with a Victoria’s Secret angel.” He shook his head. “Can you believe it? Three years together torn apart because of a skanky little cu-“

“Don’t.”

Every head in the room snapped to the door that no one noticed had opened in the heat of the conversation.

Standing there was a blank-faced Harry Styles. His blank mien remained until a blatantly forced smirk broke across his expression.

His gaze shifted over the red-faced group in front of him. Louis didn’t miss the palpable way Harry’s gaze missed him. Which is a good thing, because there’s no telling what Harry would have found in his eyes that moment.

“Stop talking about my love life to the clients. Or more, lack of,” his curls trembled slightly as he shook his head and exited the room.

There was an obvious air of tension in the small room following Harry’s exit.

And Eleanor wondered why her fiancé couldn’t look her in the eyes for the remainder of the day.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

The warm-up shoot was awkward, to say the least. Harry avoided eye contact with Louis as much as he could, directing the couple into generic, couple-like poses.

Louis pretended that the coldness didn’t hurt him.

Louis didn’t let himself pretend that this mess wasn’t completely his fault. Because it was. It all was.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

A forest.

This is the setting Harry chose for Louis and Eleanor’s pictures.

“The warm colors will go nicely with both of your skin tones,” he said stiffly, writing down an address and time and telling the couple to not be late.

Louis couldn’t get out of that building fast enough.

The incredible pictures Harry took throughout his life blurred past him and Louis wondered idly if his Danny Zuko photo shoot would be among many plastered onto the walls.  

Probably not.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

The forest was lovely. Eleanor was lovely. Niall and Liam were lovely.

 Harry was cold.

Louis was uncomfortable under Harry’s constant, chilling gaze. But then again, Louis deserved every ounce of Harry’s hostile behavior. He was the one that pushed him away; he was the one that broke Harry’s heart.

Louis’ gaze shifted through the deadened, multicolored leaves. The sparse sunlight showed through the gaps the leaves allowed, leaving patterns on the small gatherings’ faces and bodies. Louis lifted his arm, temporarily fascinated with the uneven, bright boxes and splotches seemingly painted onto his skin. But they weren’t painted, and as soon as he dropped his arm, they disappeared. Just like that. Something lovely can disappear with the simplest careless move. And then you’re left searching for something that could imitate the thing that made you so happy, but you end up falling short. He lifted his hand again, closing a fist around the splotches painted on his palm, but he couldn’t keep them there, no matter how hard he tried.

His gaze lifted to the trees above, to the birds chirping, and envied their freedom. One look at Harry and Louis wanted to fly away too.

The knot in his stomach didn’t reach his throat until he glanced over to Eleanor in her white wedding dress. Then down at his own body, swathed in an expensive suit.    

Louis’ eyes flashed between the three –Harry’s face, Eleanor’s dress, his own suit– before it got too much.

He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t and he wouldn’t.

Harry will never forgive him. Harry will never want him again. But Louis will be damned if he needs to wait at the altar for none other then that green-eyed boy. Just the thought of someone else sauntering down that aisle made Louis’ stomach churn. He wanted Harry in a luxurious suit, staring into his eyes as he proclaimed his promise of forever. He wanted it so bad.

These thoughts hit Louis like an unsuspected truck. And when they did hit, you could see the shift in his seemingly calm façade. He broke out into a sweat, his pupils dilating at the same time. He didn’t realize his hands were shaking until one was being grabbed.

He looked down to his entwined hand, hoping for Harry’s strong ones, but instead seeing Eleanor’s dainty fingers. He couldn’t keep the groan off his lips as he glanced up at Eleanor’s concerned expression.

“Are you alright, love?” she asked, her voice laced with worry.

Louis pondered the question. Was he alright? Was he anywhere near alright? Of course he wasn’t. Was Eleanor blind?

“N-no.” Louis said, sitting down on the fallen leaves, causing them to crunch underneath him. By this point, he had everyone in the group’s attention; even the sullen photographer.

“I-I… um, I don’t feel very well. Could we just… go home?” His eyes flashed up to Harry, who was staring at him with a look that could set him on fire. “Or… I need to have a word with Mr. Styles here. Could you go to the hotel, and I’ll meet you there?”

The girl looked confused, but nodded anyway, making her way towards the sleek, black car that was parked for them. “Don’t forget to call,” she said caringly. Louis couldn’t think of a response, so he nodded weakly.

“Niall, Liam, can you two head back to the studio? I’ll meet you there soon,” Harry murmured, not breaking his eye contact with Louis. The boys complied, heading towards their cars as well.

Louis stood and watched the cars zoom away into the distance. They we’re specs when he decided to pipe up.

“I’m not marrying Eleanor,” he said, turning around. Harry was standing there, the picture of beauty and standing with his hands in his pockets. His eyebrows shot up momentarily before he composed himself into the hostile stare Louis was getting used to.

“Why did you leave, Louis?” The pop star nodded. He was expecting this question.  The only bad thing about it was that Louis had no idea how to respond.

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know, Harry,” he said, taking a small step forward.

“I got over you, you know,” Harry stated bluntly. “It took me so long, so incredibly long to stop crying over you. Zayn helped a little bit, but then he turned around and left too.” He muttered the last part, his eyes shifting to the ground as he shifted back and forth on his toes.

“Ha-harry, I don’t know why I left. I was confused; I didn’t know what I wanted. Even now, I thought I wanted Eleanor. But what I used to feel for her doesn’t even hold a candle to what I feel for you.”

Green eyes snapped up to meet with Louis’ blue. Seeing that he grabbed his attention, Louis continued on.

“I lo-“

“Don’t,” Harry interrupted suddenly, defeat flashing behind his green eyes. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. I can’t take it, Louis. I won’t be able to take it.”

Louis took a determined step forward, balling his tiny hands into fists.

“I love you. I love you so much it hurts, knowing you should never love me back. Knowing you deserve so much better. I’m so stupid. I never should have le-“ And suddenly there was a pair of lips crushing down on Louis’, trapping the words he was about to say.

He responded quickly; rising on his toes to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck. His fingers tangled in Harry’s curls, keeping him in place.

Harry’s arms were wound tightly around Louis’ waist, holding him hopelessly close to his chest.

But the kiss was sweet, tender. Full of apologies and undeserved forgiveness and impossible promises.

When Harry eventually pulled away, Louis kept his eyes closed; afraid of what he might find swimming behind Harry’s readable eyes.

So he took a staggering breath and spoke. “I’m not marrying Eleanor. I’m calling the wedding off,” he repeated. He opened his eyes to gaze into Harry’s. “I want to be with you.”

Harry gulped. “You mean that?”

Louis’ voice failed him, so he allowed a strong nod.

Harry let out a breath onto Louis’ face. “You promise you won’t push me away again? I won’t be able to take it if you do.”

Louis’ hand wandered down to where Harry was grasping his waist. He entwined their fingers, staring into his true lovers eyes and taking a breath before speaking again.

“I promise.”

He pulled Harry down into a kiss that felt infinite. And it was.

It truly was.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! Give me your feedback in the comments, or message me on tumblr:  
> lourrypocalypse.tumblr.com :) :) :)


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